I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
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Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
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He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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