fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
