super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
