TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hippo gnu deer
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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