That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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