seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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