I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
