We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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