after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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