your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
