What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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