she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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