What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
