Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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