he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
my poor anus
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
