Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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