Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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