Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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