dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
