Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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