at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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