Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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