every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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