went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
