You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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