I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
