yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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