Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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