three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize