First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
