Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
