Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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