You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
