i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
