i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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