he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
