just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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