perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
