If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
