I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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