I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
