We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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