it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
