I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
