Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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