if you like me you must not know who I am
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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