Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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