have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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