you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
