the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
