Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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