Duck Duck Cougar?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
