i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
