even my farts smell like vagina
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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