A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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