the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
