the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
