I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize