Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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