Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Vodka?
Forever.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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