just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize