i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
