I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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