Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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