just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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