Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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