Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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