i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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