My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize