we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
