Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
