very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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