wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
