I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
