so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
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The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
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Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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