so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
