The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
