before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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