so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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