Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sext me about skeletons
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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