somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize