Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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