More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
