Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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