so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
